Your Personal Style

From the ENTERTAINMENT Standpoint:

Jump Down to Garter Removal: the Tradition and an Unexpected Twist

The words “personal style” can be aptly applied across the full spectrum of wedding services confronting folks who are making prenuptial plans. For many of us happily enmeshed in providing wedding entertainment services, what the bride and groom choose to feature during their ceremony and reception is very appropriately qualified with the assurance: it will be presented in accordance with their “personal style.” As a matter of fact, Part III of Peter Merry’s book, The Best Wedding Reception . . . Ever! is titled “Adding Your Personal Style,” and contains thirteen chapters devoted to the subject, which is becoming more and more in vogue. In Elizabeth Olson’s article, “For Millennials, It’s More About Personal Style Than Luxury,” the words “personal style” relate to jewelry. When it comes to entertainment, the words relate to the experience of the wedding celebration, defined by the level of fun and participation enjoyed by the folks in attendance.

Olson’s New York Times article states, the children of Baby Boomers want to stand out. For sure. And why not? In my opinion, everything that happens on their wedding day should reflect the bride and groom’s personalities and taste—from the Grand Entrance to the Final Sendoff. Putting it another way, when crafted from an entertainment perspective, their reception plan should be well-marked with their fingerprints on every page. At a wedding, when it comes to what’s done and the way it’s done, few things aggravate me more than when, instead of a personalized approach, I see what’s obviously an oft-repeated, tired, “cookie-cutter” approach to presenting the wedding protocol. I also feel disappointed when I witness time-honored, but often timeworn traditions carried out mechanically. I’m not debunking traditions. Traditions are fine, and can be meaningful, moving, and presented in a memorable way. Additionally, along with refreshing new slants on presenting traditional wedding protocol, there are also a host of newer, wedding-appropriate, marriage-related features I like to refer to as “special activities” that can provide a fun focus and draw everyone into the festivities.

What’s Done and the Way it’s Done

At a wedding, in addition to the food, fashion, and decor, it’s what’s done and the way it’s done that should be a reflection of the bride and groom’s “personal style.” To some extent, most of the wedding attendees already know the bride and groom. They’re acquainted with their likes, traits, idiosyncrasies, etc., characteristics that contribute to their “personal style.” Whatever is being presented and shared during the marriage celebration can, and I feel should, add to this familiarity. So, when the attention of friends and family is captured and directed on what’s happening at the wedding, there can be a happy consensus and acknowledgment that the way it was done was just so much like the one or the other or both of them. Wedding guests can be thinking an even remark, “That was fun! Wasn’t that just like her to have it done that way.”

A Tradition

Here’s a tradition many engaged couples choose to include as part of their reception’s agenda. Everyone is familiar with the groom removing his wife’s garter and then flinging it to a cluster of eligible males. If you think about it, this is kind of peculiar. Why remove her garter and throw it at a bunch of guys?  Where does this tradition come from? One explanation is it dates back to the 14th century in parts of Europe. The thought was, having a piece of the bride’s clothing would bring good luck. This resulted in a mass of wedding guests ripping off part of her dress so they could have a lucky piece of fabric. Obviously, this tradition did not sit well with the bride, so she began throwing various items to the guests—the garter being one of them. It became customary for the bride to toss the garter to the men. But, this also caused a great problem for the bride, because sometimes the men would get drunk, become impatient and try to remove the garter ahead of time. Therefore, it became the custom for the groom to remove and toss the garter to the men.

An Unexpected Twist

Nowhere is it mandated that the tradition of removing and tossing the garter needs to be featured during the wedding’s festivities. It’s not a requirement. If it’s something the bride and groom choose to include, there are numerous ways to do it that will suit their temperament and personalities. To my way of thinking, anything that’s positive, feels good, won’t offend anyone, and serves to reflect their “personal style” will contribute to the success of their wedding celebration. Here’s a wonderful example—an offshoot of the garter removal and toss that was planned and executed for the enjoyment and amusement of the wedding guests, and at the same time really rang the bell when it came to representing the bride and groom in a well-received, familiar fashion. First of all, both of them were avid fans of the Washington Redskins. This was part of a recurring theme already played upon during their Grand Entrance and Cake Cutting. When it was almost time for the garter removal, the bride excused herself and made ready. “Honky Tonkin’” by Bill Dogget provided a musical backdrop while, to the accompanying cheers of his friends and family, the groom knelt in front of his wife who was seated in a chair. But, instead of the customary garter, he pulled out first one large and bulky garment, and then another—two full-sized Washington Redskin jerseys. “His” and “Hers” was embroidered on the back, and they both proceeded to pull the jerseys on over their clothing. “Hail to the Redskins” was played as all the young boys in attendance were called onto the dance floor. To their delight, the groom proceeded to toss each of them a miniature football. Following this, all the young girls were called onto the dance floor, and the bride tossed each of them a stuffed animal.

The bride and groom’s version of the garter removal and toss created an entertaining, feel-good, memorable moment. And, it was in accordance with their “personal style!” For a variety of entertaining suggestions and ideas that can be adapted to suit one’s “personal style,”  I highly recommend getting a copy of The Best Wedding Reception . . . Ever! by Peter Merry.